Greg: Superpowers "discussion" and nagging

Evidently, there's some sort of quota in play for how often you blog. Shannon has made it abundantly clear that I'm not blogging enough. I don't really know what "enough" is, except that I haven't met the standard yet. I don't really know who measures the standard either. If it's you, let up already! Shan and I have enough to do.

On to the post.

Alex and I have had an ongoing "discussion" for what would be the world's best superpower. Pretty much every father and son since 1932 have argued about which superpower they would have. (For some reason, you can only pick one, which doesn't seem fair. Superman's dad didn't tell HIM he could only have one.)

And did I mention I love to mess with my son's head? Literally and metaphorically? So when he starts talking like this I always try to bend language a bit and get him to think...maybe even sneak in a character-building life-lesson for him to reflect on once he gets older. I know he'll be grateful eventually. He will...I know it.

So we were coming out of Wal-mart--a mecca for those who seek quiet contemplation of their super powers--and my latest idea hit me. So I said, "Alex, I know what my super power choice will be! I want to be the Poodle Smasher! I'll be able to smash any poodles just by thinking about it.
"What's the point of that?" Ana asked, a touch of hurt in her voice (she likes poodles). Then Alex piped up, ever the pragmatist: "What there aren't any poodles around?"
"Good point," I said "I guess it's only useful if my super-nemesis is trying to take over the world with an army of poodles." (I still think it's a good pick, by the way...poodles is bad.)

Of course, my real purpose was to get Alex talking about HIS favorite super-power, and I love to argue with him about it. So he said, "I still say that the best super power would be Infinite Wishes." He took the bait...suckah!!

"But then you'd basically just be a genie," I said "And you wouldn't be a super hero at all. You'd just be a mythical creature."
"No I wouldn't," he said "I'd be able to grant my own wishes. I wouldn't have to grant other people's."
"So your name would be Captain Selfish-Genie?" I said. (All too easy...and of course, here's where I'm sneaking in the character-building life lesson.)

You get the idea. From there, the conversation revolved around defending why he wouldn't be Captain Selfish-Genie, and me giving impersonations (in my best Eddie Murphy voice) of all the horrid things Captain Selfish Genie would do. My favorite is Captain Selfish-Genie waking up one morning and saying "I don't feel like getting out of bed today...I'll just wish everybody in danger would be safe...and I wish me a plate of waffles...and I wish I was king of the world..." At this point, I officially changed his name to Captain Lazy Butt.

I still think I was right. Wishes is a lousy super power. Too easily exploited for self-gain and personal depravity. This boy needs to be taught a lesson before he becomes a super villain. That's why I'm such a good dad.
:)