STOP. COLLABORATE.LISTEN!

Lol....oh married life! What a challenge you are! I guess the Vanilla Ice song got stuck in my head this morning as I noticed the cycle of stress & non communication starting in my family. I don't need to keep saying, "We have a lot on our plate right now." We are in a new mode of the dissertation, in that my husband has to now go back and make revisions to the chapters that the adviser has noted! I really can't relate to the process of this paper. It's not something I am passionate about or even like to do. MY HUSBAND, he is good at research and this is a huge part of his life. He teaches others how to research for a living! Even though, this isn't my thing! I need to be supportive, loving, encouraging! I realized today, that as he is trying to share with me certain thoughts that he is having about his dissertation I am getting fearful. Scared! I mean this writing project is intense. He is pulling late nights, and he has frustrations that I can't relate to. As far fetched as it may seem, I fear he is going to go crazy...lol. I mean this whole thing would make me crazy! The intense pressure to meet all the deadlines that are swirling around him. Having to be a Professor who is teaching, writing a dissertation, Father, Husband, Friend and Teaching coach to our son in 7th grade. Equals = TO MUCH, brain wise! Confession, I'm not a good listener when I'm scared of the topic. I have a the flee mentality! Get me out of here! I really have to calm myself, so I can listen. Which is why my title came to mind today as I sit quietly pondering what is going on communication wise between my beloved and I. I need to STOP. COLLABORATE  my brain to take what is being said with out the fear. LISTEN without feeling like I have to fix it! I don't want to be a henderance or cause him more stress. One thing that I think we are not taught in communication skills is to be a sounding board for others. We want to get our own thoughts/opinions in, fix a problem being discussed or run if we don't like the topic. We start thinking some how what the other person is saying is about us personally! OH I MAKE THIS MISTAKE ALL THE TIME! Preparing ourselves to listen and take whatever someone says without a reaction is a hard process to learn! So, in failing twice with communication between last night and this morning! I will apologize and try again, to STOP. COLLABORATE. LISTEN....even if I do get that song stuck in my head! Maybe it will help me and my husband communicate better! - Shannon

As always, I could us some prayer!