Maybe some will think this is to much disclosure, but I had a knock down drag out with God the other day! I mean I banged my fist, told Him it was to much for me to handle, wept on the floor for a good 30 minutes in the bathroom. I had a dramatic fit behind closed doors. Why were things not getting better? How could I want so many Christ-like characteristics for our family and yet around every corner we seem to be failing extravagantly! Some times those deep down humble moments are what push us into God's amazing grace. I don't recommend them often, they are exhausting & depleting. I often rely on the verse in these time...when I am weak, HE is strongest! I felt like God was to quiet for my liking. I wanted answers, I wanted Him to scoop me up and show me how each one of my children would turn out. How could I help them get through the sins I have committed and them having been the innocent by standards. Sigh! I weep over this details of life. It is a constant realization of my sin, which leads me to apologize.
This fit if you will is leading me into a Conviction...A conviction to LOVE, it's pushed me to grow in grace and forgiveness. Neither come easily for me. I'm a sensitive hot mess at times, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my tongue can shoot the most hurtful words. With God example and those who love God surrounding me...I am convicted to Love! I may not get this even close to perfect, but I hope that I can leave a legacy to my family that I Loved the best I Knew how! - Shannon
No comments:
Post a Comment